Friday, 17 February 2017

The King of Kerry's Party

© BT.com


Splish’ splash’ splish’ Splash, Splash splish !

“By the toads tail! Where is that noise coming from ?” said Willy Walsh loudly as he woke from a deep sleep after consuming several jars of mountain dew. His sun tanned head lifted off his favourite oak apple pillow as he addressed his fellow imbiber, Tom Trippit, who was lying next to him on the bank of a slow flowing river.

“Why ’tis no more than your old friend Flor the King of Kerry taking  a bath” said Tom

“But why now when I needs me shleep ? ” asked Willy.

“Sure,’tis your own fault for complaining about him smelling like an old horse” replied Tom.

“I still don’t understand and why now. The Beltane courting is weeks away yet, we never bathes afore then” pondered  Willy

“Yor memory ’tis failing ye Willy. Did ye not notice the Kisser woman he was with?
An’ the gorse is in bloom, so ’tis all go now to kissing an’ that.
Though I’d say his highness is well under her spell” said Tom.

“By the Great Green Toad ! I never suspected that they were planting together” said Willy.

“Aye’ tis bitten he is that’s for sure bathing in February”  said Tom.

“An I never copped it. So that’s why he was buying all them drinks, a’h thought it was odd for a Kerry man to be so free with his gold. Must be a strong spell she got him under” mused Willy.

“Did ye notice how he lashed the drink into that old wan at corner of the bar, her what would drink off a scabby leg if it was free ? ” said Tom.

Ah’did so! Was amazing how word got round so fast that he was treating.
Why they came out of every hole in the ground, I’d say the cemetery was empty last night” replied Willy.

“Begad! We was fortunate to have met the fiddler along the way otherwise we’d have missed out on a great night out” said Tom.

The conversation ceased as each considered what had been said.

Soon the sounds of long, loud snores rippled the waters, rattled the brambles and flattened the grass for miles around as Willy and Tom went back to sleep.


THE END (and may be not)

Disclaimer: any likeness, nefarious or not, to living persons 
is due to the authors lively imagination.
© MRL 2017

18 comments:

  1. Charming! I was going to try and write my reaction in the style of your story... Never mind. Charming!

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    1. Thank you Mitch.
      I thought that the world needed cheering up what with one person and another !

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  2. I could hear the ringing, singing accent in that conversation, Mel!! What a delightful little tale. The swimmer in the picture, is that you??????

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    1. Thank you Solveig I am very glad that you enjoyed my short story. No that is not me in the photo, I am much older and hairier than him :-)
      I wrote that story to combat the the misery that is in the world and spread a bit of cheer and happiness around. Many thanks for your comments.

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    2. You did a nice job, but I think it could have done very well being read aloud, it kind of needs an irish voice!!!
      I have an halfirish collegue, I'll try it on her, she needs cheering up too!

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    3. I hope your friend enjoys it Solveig.

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  3. Rattled the brambles is a wonderful description. Will the snores get rid of rushes and furze?

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    1. Ha' ha' ha' Dave !
      The rushes are needed for the great industry of producing Bridgets crosses and for making of besoms;
      similarly Furze flowers for wine, kissing and a small bush cut for sweeping the chimney down.

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  4. Sounds like some old goats we've met a time or two,

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    1. O really Janet then you and Mac must keep in with some good company :-)
      Thanks for the interesting comment.

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  5. HI Mel - very Oirish ... but a great tale being told ... and no doubt so true ... and actually now I think about ... methinks of Will and his writing style of 450 years ago ... ?! Cheers - I think I need a cup of tea now ... Hilary

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  6. Thank you Hilary and just make sure that it is only straight tea and not how my mother would take it with a dash of whisky in it :-)

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  7. This is a tale very well told, Mel. I love the 'oirish' accent and can just hear it. Perfect!

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    1. Thank you VP. Now please tell me why do you and others put an O in front of Irish, I know the pronunciation is different to Queen's English yet the spelling of words has no difference.

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    2. It's just the charm of the way it's pronounced. We can't help it! I actually find the Irish accent the most attractive of all those in the British Isles. Sorry, Mel...haha... Anyway, you do a pretty fair job of writing in Oirish too ;)

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    3. Well strangely enough Val I have never in my life heard IRISH pronounced with an 'O'. What I do hear though is some English people, not all admittedly putting an r after the A so that for example the city of Bath sounds like 'barth' ! I guess it is all double dutch to our various ears :-) :-)

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  8. Jack L said :
    It was great for me to read a nice ..light and humorous piece and I had a good chuckle at Tom and Willy...nice accent portrayal Mel -) !!

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    1. Thanks Jack, very glad it worked for you and my sole intention was to put a bit of humour into this sad world
      of ours.

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